In an increasingly complex world, divisions often arise between groups based on political affiliation, ethnicity, religion, and more. News and social media propagate stereotypes that can falsely demonize "the other side." This makes it harder to recognize our common hopes and struggles.
However, most people likely want the same basic things – to provide for and protect their families while enjoying health and happiness. Rather than judging others, we must build bridges through open and thoughtful dialogue.
Listen First, Then Seek to Understand
When confronting opposing views, our instinct is often to ignore or argue. However, listening is essential to understand where others are coming from. As leadership expert Stephen Covey wrote:
"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."
The simplest yet most powerful way to ease tensions is to listen fully to others, without interruption or judgement. Pay attention to both facts and feelings being communicated. Reserve your opinions until after you understand.
vraMA, a non-profit using communication skills to address social divisions, found that "listening fully to understand led to greater openness to differing perspectives." When we feel truly heard, we become more willing to hear alternate viewpoints.
Find Common Ground Through Shared Narratives
While differences divide us, commonalities unite us. Psychologists have shown that finding similarities brings people together, often unconsciously. Shared interests, values, and experiences help build rapport and empathy.
Personal stories and anecdotes that reveal our shared hopes and struggles are exceptionally powerful. Social scientist Arthur Brooks recommends asking people from opposing groups:
“What was the most difficult thing that happened to you this week?”
This simple question surfaces universal human experiences that transcend our divisions. Recognizing this common emotional ground can lead to relationships between the most disconnected groups.
Speak Up Respectfully Against Intolerance
When we witness discrimination, racism, unfair stereotypes or disrespect, we must speak up. Silence can unintentionally enable harm. However, our approach matters greatly.
Vitriol often breeds more vitriol. We must call out intolerant words while also modeling tolerance and seeking shared understanding. Apply what Rutgers psychology professor Lee Jussim calls “the principle of charity” – addressing opposing views in their strongest possible form.
See every interaction as an opportunity for growth through constructive dialogue. With compassion and moral courage, one conversation at a time, we can build bridges where walls once stood.
